


When Forced to Choose (Choose Your Heart)

by NamelesslyNightlock



Series: Going Down Swinging [65]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Decisions, Declarations Of Love, Destruction of a University Campus, Determined Tony Stark, Dragons, Established Relationship, Fear, Feels, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Forbidden Love, Happy Ending, Heroes to Villains, Kissing, Loyalty, M/M, Misunderstandings, Property Damage, Relationship Reveal, Secret Relationship, Talking, Truth, Ultimatums, Video Cameras, changing sides
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25048000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelesslyNightlock/pseuds/NamelesslyNightlock
Summary: The last time he and Loki spoke, Tony hesitated when he should have jumped. But it’s time to fix that mistake– it’s time for the whole world to learn that when he’s forced to choose, Tony will always choose Loki.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Series: Going Down Swinging [65]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1330490
Comments: 33
Kudos: 406
Collections: Fics that make my heart go OOF with fluff





	When Forced to Choose (Choose Your Heart)

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt** — _“When you smile, I fall apart.”_

When the moment came, Tony felt like his heart was in his throat.

It wasn’t that he was unsure of his decision– he’d made it a long time ago, and he wasn’t about to go back on it. It was just that he could _feel_ that his life was hanging by a thread, that this was going to be one of those moments that changed _everything—_

And any control over the result was so far out of his hands it wasn’t even funny. He was handing all of it over to a madman, to a psychopath who would just as soon burn the whole city to the ground and call it a good day than he would sit quietly in a tea shop.

Yet…

Tony knew that in this—

Well, it wasn’t right to say that any choice had been torn from him– he’d _had_ a choice, and yet this was the decision he’d come to anyway. In his mind, it was the only one that he would be able to live with.

Maybe that should have been enough to calm his nerves.

But when the alarm sounded and JARVIS let everyone know that Loki was causing some kind of ruckus that needed to be dealt with, Tony still felt like he was going to vomit.

This time, it would seem that the chaos was happening at a university campus. Loki, Tony was willing to bet, was likely bored, and had decided that the sad-looking students needed a little entertainment.

And the students, with their exams around the corner, probably didn’t mind that their university buildings were currently under assault by a massive, fire-breathing dragon. Even _Tony_ was impressed.

But he couldn’t properly enjoy the sight, because.

Well.

 _Stress,_ you know? It just, made everything else feel a little bit dimmer.

Tony had to draw in a long, deep breath before he landed in the midst of the chaos, but even still he felt like he couldn’t quite get the right amount of air into his lungs.

Oh well.

Now or never, right?

As Tony looked up at the villain smirking in front of him, readying himself for a battle – both of wits and of will – Tony knew that he had a hell of a lot to lose here. This wasn’t just a gamble– it was _insanity,_ and yet—

“Loki,” Tony said, letting his suit melt away so that he was standing in front of the psychopath in nothing but a shirt and jeans. “I think we need to talk.”

Loki’s expression immediately coloured with annoyance, but Tony didn’t let it throw him. He knew how good an actor Loki was, and he knew that Loki _knew_ what it was that he wanted.

Because Loki wasn’t an idiot, and he was hardly slow on the uptake. And given what had happened the last time he and Tony had seen each other, there was _no way_ Loki could have been confused.

And, you know what? The fact that Loki was still there, that he wasn’t running away felt like something of a victory.

“The other Avengers will be here soon, I gather?” Loki asked, his voice as sharp as a barb.

“No,” Tony said. “They’re in the quinjet, see.”

Loki’s brow creased for a moment– but only a moment, before his expression immediately smoothed with understanding.

“And where might JARVIS be taking them?” Loki asked– this time, his words were loud and clear.

Tony didn’t need to glance to the side to know that some of the cowering students had their phones out, were videoing the whole thing. He knew what Loki was doing– just as Loki _must_ know why Tony was there.

“Florida, I think,” Tony replied with a shrug. “Steve mentioned something recently about wanting to see Disney World. JARVIS is only doing him a favour, really.”

And then, Loki’s smirk turned into something… _else._ It wasn’t a proper smile, not quite yet, but. It was something close.

“Is that so?” Loki stepped a little closer– the dagger he held in his right hand switching to his left. “And I suppose you would like me to halt my work here while we… _talk?”_

Tony shrugged. “Not really? I mean, I have to be honest, I think pretty much everyone here is enjoying this.”

Perhaps he should have asked if the dragon was hurting anyone. Perhaps he could have cared a little more about the property damage. But, as it was… he only really cared about one thing in that moment, and it wasn’t the bloody dragon.

“Hmm.” Loki still seemed to be considering Tony carefully, sizing up his motives. Tony didn’t like it much, even if he understood it. “Then tell me, Stark. Why are you here? What is it that you wish to say to me?”

Tony hadn’t expected that he would be able to do this privately. It was the main reason for his nervousness, for the bile that had stained every taste upon his tongue. Because regardless of what Loki decided here, there would be no going back for him. The whole world was about to hear what he had to say, and if Loki left him for it…

Then the world would be quick to condemn him.

But, he had made his choice.

He knew his mind—

He knew his _heart,_ and he was not the kind to give up so easily at the first touch of fear.

And, somehow… as he straightened his back and tilted up his chin, the nervousness melted away. He could no longer taste the bile, his heartbeat slowed to something more natural—

And as he spoke, his voice remained level.

“I came to tell you that I’ve made my decision,” Tony said. “That I made it a long time ago, and that you would have known that if you had just given me the time to say my piece.”

Perhaps hostility wasn’t the best place to start– for Loki’s expression hardened immediately at Tony’s sharp tone.

“I did not need to give you the time,” Loki replied, his voice now falling into little more than a hiss. “I already knew what you were going to say.”

“You know, I really don’t think that’s true,” Tony said. “Because from what you said then, and what you’ve said so far today, it seems like you think my loyalty is still with the Avengers.”

Loki’s eyes suddenly widened, and he took half a step back as if Tony’s words had struck him in the chest.

Tony couldn’t help but feel just a little bit smug about that.

“Yeah,” Tony said. “So I was right. You thought that if forced to choose… I would choose _them.”_

“What evidence did I have to the contrary?” Loki asked, regaining some of that sharpness. “What evidence do I have _now?”_

“Me, talking to you,” Tony snapped. “If you’d just let me goddamn finish, Loki, I’m trying to tell you that I’m on your side, that I have been for a while. That although I mightn't have been pleased that you tried to force me to fucking _choose,_ I made my decision long ago. And that nothing, _nothing_ has changed for me since the last time I told you I love you.”

Tony’s chest was heaving, but he still– felt that same calm, that same level of pure acceptance. It was out in the open now, no longer just a secret held between the two of them, but spread for the whole _world_ to see.

There would not be a person without internet access who did not know of his changed allegiances come nightfall, and regardless of whether Loki wanted him or not—

Well, Tony could no longer be an Avenger, that much was certain.

And from the look of incredulity that had begun to blossom across Loki’s face, he knew it too.

Because there was no chance Loki could explain this away. No argument to be made that Tony was lying. This was as real as reality could be.

Tony was laying _everything_ on the line, his life, his soul, his _heart—_

Laying it down for Loki to either pick up and carry as his own, or to slice through with that knife he was still holding in his hands.

Somewhere beyond them both, the dragon that had been reducing the university to rubble faded away in a torrent of green seiðr. But neither Tony nor Loki’s eyes ever dropped, the both of them holding the other’s gaze, waiting… for what?

For a lie? For the truth? For yet one more _choice?_

Tony cleared his throat, and took a single, half-tentative step forward.

“Loki,” he said, holding out one hand. “When I told you I loved you, I meant it. And to me, love means more than just hiding in the dark, meeting up after battles to lick each other’s wounds and take what little joy we can amongst the shadows. To _me,_ love should be out in the light, whatever shape or form that might take. And if that means that I need to step away from the Avengers so that I can _be_ with you, then I’ll do it, without question.”

Loki’s eyes were wide now, his masks all but melting away as the truth rang through Tony’s words. Tony took another step, held out his hand.

“Loki,” he said. “I’d had enough of hiding a long time ago, but I was holding on because I was afraid of everything changing. I helped to build the Avengers from the ground up, you know that. They’ve always been important to me, but– the way I feel about them is _nothing_ compared to the way that I have come to feel about you. And… I don’t really resent that you made me choose, Lokes. Because I get it. They would never accept you, not in a million years, so if I want to be with you…”

Tony let his sentence trail off, not seeing the need to finish it.

One more step forward put him right in front of Loki, and he reached out to take Loki’s free hand, curling his fingers over cold skin.

“So, yeah. When you asked me, I was slow to reply because I was afraid. Afraid of the change, and… afraid, of how _easy_ it was to think of my answer. Afraid of the truth, I suppose.”

Loki’s lips had parted slightly, and his tongue darted out to wet them amidst Tony’s pause.

“And which truth is that?” Loki asked, soft and quiet.

Tony tightened his hold on Loki’s hand, squeezing it gently. “The truth is that when you smile, I fall apart.” He gave a small shrug. “And Loki… I can’t fight you anymore. Not out here as Iron Man, not when we’re together. I just want to be with you. Loki… is that too much to ask?”

“No,” Loki said, sounding somewhat breathless as his knife fell to the ground, as he leaned forward, as he cupped Tony’s cheek. “No, it’s not too much at all.”

When Loki kissed him, his touch was surprisingly soft, his lips just _barely_ pressing to Tony’s. It was like no other kiss that they had ever shared, so very gentle and edging just on the quiet side of tender. And yet, Tony’s heart was racing once again, his hands almost shaking—

And it was like– the kiss didn’t want to come to an end. Their lips lingered, their hands turned to soft caresses. They held each other not as if they thought they’d lose the moment, not with the rushed desperation their touches were normally coloured by. No, they held each other because they _wanted_ to feel the other in their arms, to know that the one they loved, loved them in return. To know the warm comfort of a loving embrace without the shadow of an axe hanging over their heads.

“You’re going to stay with me?” Loki asked, his lips still touching Tony’s, his words hardly more than a breath. “You’re going to _be_ with me?”

Tony held him a little tighter, pressed their lips a little closer. “For as long as you’ll have me.”

And finally, Loki’s smile was real.

“Forever, then.”

“Yeah,” Tony sighed, every last bit of remaining tension melting away as he finally received the answer he had been hoping so desperately for. “Sounds good to me.”

And as their lips pressed together properly once more, as Loki’s seiðr curled around them and carried them to a place where they could finally be properly alone and _free—_

Tony found himself sure that his life had just changed for the better.


End file.
